Who made Superman’s threads?

After stuffing myself full at a buffet and catching the 2006 rendition of Superman Returns, I can now rest at ease awaiting the explosions & booms of 2006 to commence.

superman returns

Before I pass into a much needed nap, I have one question for Superman fanatics. Now understand, Superman was nothing more than a bullet-proof man flying around in blue tights and a red cape prior to seeing the movie. Superman is bullet-proof, passes through the atmosphere without being incinerated, and manages to fall from the skies creating a giant crater. Despite all this, his blue and red outfit remains unscathed.

Naturally, you can’t have a super hero without super hero threads. So where exactly did Superman’s suit come from? I imagine the seats of his pants never wear through, the collar of his shirt remains unstretched, and the soles of his boots never get worn down. Where is his tailor? Does he make the suit(s) (presumably multiple suits)? Machine-washable? Etc?

I probably should have asked the mid-thirty year old sitting to my right if he might know. He came well prepared in Superman pajama pants, a matching t-shirt, red hair, red boots, and a blue Superman blanket. He probably would have know right?

Discuss - 17 Comments

  1. Joshua says:

    According to the comic books, the Kents made Superman’s indestructible tights out of the indestructible blanket (Superman cut it with his heat vision) he had when his capsule crashed into Earth.

  2. Don says:

    I don’t know if this is right, but if you remember the original Superman movie, there were blue, red and even gold sheets that lined the crystal space ship that carried Superman as a baby from Krypton to Earth. I’m guessing that his suit was made from these materials. Who tailored his suit and his shoes? Beats me.

  3. Ahmed says:

    More importantly, who does his hair?

    And why is it that he never has any facial hair? Does he just put the heat vision on a really low level and reflect it off the mirror to shave himself? This only answers questions with more questions…

  4. Stuffing yourself full of buffet? Don’t think I’m not watching! ;)

  5. Derek says:

    Stuffing yourself full of buffet? Don’t think I’m not watching! ;)

    Oh but I made sure to eat in moderation. Sort of. Besides, it was like Japanese food. How bad could that be.

  6. eric says:

    the real question is, how come no one bothered to ask him why he has his underwear on the outside of his pants.

  7. Don says:

    That is so funny! Yeah, I want an answer to that too! LOL!

  8. Derek says:

    More importantly, who does his hair?

    I missed this comment. I was wondering the same thing while watching the movie. That jelly curl of his in the front is still intact despite falling from space and creating a crater in the park. While he was sitting on the gurney in the hospital, I was like “what the hell?!” his hair is still curled as it was earlier.

    the real question is, how come no one bothered to ask him why he has his underwear on the outside of his pants.

    Maybe he does have underwear under the pants? The ones on the outside must be extra protection?

    • Tim says:

      His hair is the same because he is the man of steel and even the hairs on his body could “stop a bullet” : D. And his hair does that cause when he changes into his suit he spins around really fast so it just sticks that way. His suit isn’t indestructible either. If you remember the kryptonite did infact cut through, so it’s vunerable to that as well.

  9. leeo says:

    ok guys i got an answer:

    SUPERMAN has SUPERCLOTHES

    ok?

  10. Ian! says:

    According to the comic books, the Kents made Superman’s indestructible tights out of the indestructible blanket (Superman cut it with his heat vision) he had when his capsule crashed into Earth.

    I hadn’t heard this one, but it makes sense. There are multiple histories and explainations for a lot of things in the DC Universe(s).

    The explanation that I always understood was that his clothes were protected since they were so close to his skin. His protective “aura” so to speak extended for maybe a millimeter beyond his skin. Occasionally in the comic, you might see his cape damaged but not the rest of his clothes for this reason. They’re as vulnerable as he is at any given time.

    This isn’t always the case though, since I have read comics were his clothes were apparently vulnerable…

  11. Jay says:

    According to the comic books, the Kents made Superman’s indestructible tights out of the indestructible blanket (Superman cut it with his heat vision) he had when his capsule crashed into Earth.

    Yep, if my memory serves, this is pretty correct. It was all material from within the capsule.

  12. Jp says:

    Fine, The Kents tailored the suit, He cut it with his “Laser Vision”, He have a protective Aura… Probably a “Supervibes” Too…

    However… If the suit resists bullets, Fire, etc. How come they cut it with simple scissors in ER. and once he was healed and back on his feet if the suit was ripped apart, How come he kept wearing it like it was not cutted at all?

    Also… If i am in a falling inside an airplane playing pin ball with my body… dont you think i will have bruises? or that i will need physical teraphy of some sorts? Louis lane later on that day was more fabulous than ever…not even a slight sign of pain… Superrrrrr

    A friend of mine told me also that later on in the “Dc Superman comicbooks” This Lab runs tests of his suit & figure out how to create it for him. so he had this lab or co. who do the suit for him. I dont know if my friends rumor
    is true…

  13. Derek says:

    I had a momentary thought concerning the movie… If the suit is so strong, why did that blade of Kryptonite go right through and stab him towards the end? Then I realized, doh! Kryptonite is his weakness, and probably the weakness of his suit. Kind of like hollow points and a bullet proof vest?

  14. odawa_man_200 says:

    I think superman’s underwear is on the outside so he don’t leave super skid-marks, just a thought

  15. Imagine trying to wash out superskids

  16. superfan78 says:

    If you pay close attention to the first Superman movie, in the scene where Clark first creates the fortress from the Kryptonian crystal, you can see red yellow and blue materials inside his backpack. I surmise that while doing his training with Jor-El for 12 years, his uniform was fashioned from these materials and given to him as perhaps a graduation present. I dunno, just my two cents.